grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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