So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
