can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
