He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
