Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
