we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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