and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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