I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How naked do you want me to be?
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