i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
