I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize