so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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