Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
