I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
