We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sarcasm needs its own font
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it glows. i had to have it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
