well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
