Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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