i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
