Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
