Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
