it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
