Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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