I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
