You smell like stripper and shame
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
