I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
