I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
