You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
