i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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