I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
