But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
