Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
