Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
