That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
