mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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