Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
