What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
