Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
