Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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