Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
