Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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