You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
