she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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