I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
