I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
