sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
