they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
