How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
