One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
