You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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