he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
