PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
