No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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