Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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