I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
