There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
