Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
