i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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